Navigating Holiday Parenting Time Without Losing Your Sanity (or Your Kids’ Joy)

The holidays are supposed to be magical, right? Twinkling lights, hot chocolate, snowflakes, you name it! But if you share custody, this season can bring something far less festive: stress, confusion, and old arguments about who gets what day.

But it doesn’t have to be that way: a little clarity (and a little flexibility) can go a long way toward keeping the holidays joyful for everyone, and especially for your kids!

Step One: Know What Your Order Actually Says

Every parenting plan handles holidays differently. Some alternate major holidays every year, others divide them by time of day. Take a few minutes to reread your order now — not the day before Thanksgiving. Make sure you understand:

• Which holidays are specifically listed

• What time exchanges are supposed to occur

• Where exchanges happen

• What happens when holidays overlap with regular parenting time. Typically, holiday schedules override regular parenting time, but every case is different, so read your order carefully.
  

If your order is vague or outdated (i.e. “Christmas break” without clear start and end time), that’s often when conflict begins.

Step Two: Communicate Early and Kindly

Even if your ex isn’t on your nice list, communicate early. Send a polite, factual message confirming dates and times. Tools like Our Family Wizard or Talking Parents can help keep things civil and documented.

Avoid emotional language — think, “I just want to confirm we’re exchanging at 10 a.m. on Christmas Day,” not “can we not repeat last year please?”

Your kids notice the tone you set. They’ll remember that more than who had them on Christmas morning.

Step Three: When Plans Go Sideways

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, things go wrong. Flights are delayed. A relative gets sick. Or your ex suddenly decides the plan “isn’t fair.”

If that happens, stay calm and document everything. Judges tend to favor the parent who’s reasonable, consistent, and child-focused — not the one who escalates.

If you need guidance on whether to involve your attorney or file a motion, don’t wait until December 23rd to ask. Family law courts get swamped during the holidays, and early action makes all the difference.

Step Four: Keep the Kids at the Center

Kids don’t care about court orders — they care about feeling loved and included. If they sense tension between parents, it can overshadow the fun. Even if you don’t get the “main” holiday this year, you can still make it special. Start your own traditions — hot cocoa movie nights, holiday lights scavenger hunts, or a second “family Christmas” on December 27th.

Consistency and warmth mean more than dates on a calendar.

Need Help Before the Holidays?

If your parenting order is unclear, outdated, or not being followed, now is the time to address it — not when Santa’s already loading the sleigh.

At Simmons Law, LLC, we help parents create parenting plans that actually work — and step in quickly when they don’t. Reach out for a consultation so you can focus on what matters most: a peaceful, joyful holiday with your kids. If you want to learn more, call now to schedule a consultation or schedule through our website.

Disclaimer: This information is provided for general informational purposes only, and may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. It should not be construed as legal advice nor is it a substitute for legal counsel. You should not act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information provided in this post without seeking appropriate legal or other professional advice from a lawyer licensed in your state, country, or other jurisdiction.

At Simmons Law, LLC, we are Rockford family law attorneys serving Winnebago, Boone, Ogle, Stephenson, and McHenry Counties. Contact us today at (815) 570-9662.